Tuesday, 24 September 2013

I'm a Mother not a Martyr.

I went to visit my work last week for a catchup and to touch base. While I was talking to a group of colleagues the question of when I was going back to work and if I was coming back full time came up. I said I was coming back in June and definitely full time as I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home-mum, I need to work to save my sanity, or something along those lines. One of them a part-timer mother of two said jokingly, "Oh so you're thinking of yourself first." "Well, yes, someone has to" was my reply. She then said "that's okay, you're just being honest."

Being a stay-at-home-mum is not going to make me a better mother or a better person. Kudos to SAHMs, it's freaking hard work. That aside, I love working and I love my job. It enriches my life and I get joy and satisfaction out of it. To deny myself that will make be bitter and resentful, not the sort of mother that anyone would want. It doesn't mean I love my children any less than the next mother. As for going back to full time work as opposed to part-time, well I don't like job sharing and I know I'll end up doing work on my days off anyway, so I might as well get paid for it. I will give up every organ I have for my children but naturally I won't if I don't have to as I need them to live fully. Same with work.

Did I say any of that? No. Did I feel the need to justify myself? Definitely not. There are very few people whose personal opinion of me matters. My husband and children and maybe my parents and brothers but they love me no matter what anyway.

My colleague's comment about thinking of myself first really just got me thinking but what really annoyed me was when she said that's okay I'm just being honest. I found that incredibly patronising. Anyway, I let it all go. I might need her for something when I go back to work and it's easier to get people to do what you want when you haven't pissed them off.

Anyway, photo time.

During my morning walk.

After my morning walk

1 comment:

  1. I don't think people realise that they say things that are utterly stupid at times! Of course you have to think of yourself when making decisions about working full-time, part-time or not at all....... but you would have also considered your family too when making those decisions! Not everyone wants to be a SAHM and having options and doing what suits you and your family is the most important thing. It doesn't matter what you do, someone always complains. People are always asking me when I'm going back to work and making disparaging comments about wasting my brain cells being at home, so seemingly you can't win!