Caught on Camera. Unforgettable Moments .

When I gave birth to Chububby the nurse to whom I entrusted my camera thought she took lots of photos but she actually only took a couple. I was so disappointed when I looked at my camera. I'm so glad one of the other nurses thought to grab my phone and used it to take photos. I think they must have spare nurses on hand just to take photos.

This photo gives me goosebumps every time. This was the moment that I first heard Chububby cry his little lungs out. The anaesthetist was just about to lower the curtain. I was a moment away from meeting my baby for the first time.

First touch. He smelled so good. Had I known I was going to give birth that night I would have put some makeup on. I looked so yellow!

Things Are Starting To Look Up.

I have accomplished so much today!

I managed to have breakfast in peace while checking out FB. You'd never guess I had children to care for. Ok well, my mum arrived and entertained Bubby while I ate and Chububby was still asleep. And yes, that is a paper towel that I used as a place mat. Don't judge me.

I had a leisurely shower and got into proper clothes albeit hastily styled. If you have a newborn you'd know that I ought to be congratulated for achieving such success.

I chased this nasty turkey that is ruining my front yard. His name will be Dinner.

Look at that trail of destruction.

Then Chububby and I went for a walk to the shopping centre. It's a pretty long walk and I made it! Gold star for effort. We met my mum and Bubby there. They caught the train which I couldn't because there is a very high set of stairs at my closest train station, so I walked. It was great to be out in the civilised world again. I only bought a bottle of water and sushi but still. Now that I know it's achievable next time I'll buy more!

We got home, I fed the kids and put them both to bed with minimal effort. 

Glorious day!

Free Stuff!

I order groceries online nowadays as I can't drive for another week and hubby is too busy or away most of the time. As I was packing yesterday's delivery I realised that one of the bags contained stuff I didn't order. Of course it was like the second last bag I unpacked and the delivery guy had already left. I quickly called customer service and was told that mine was the last delivery and the driver was already on his way back to the store. Since there was no sticker on the bag they don't have a way of knowing to whom it belongs so if I can find a use for them they're mine to keep. Yay! for free stuff!

Hubby already opened the packet of baking chips and started eating it.

Sunny Saturday.

Sunny days are great for a neighborhood stroll.

And climbing trees.

And collecting sticks.

And playing with the neighbor's cat.

And terrorising the neighbor's cat with a stick from the collection.

Wouldn't in it be nice if everyday was like this?

A Nice Walk. Saving My Sanity.

Today Bubby, Chububby and I went for a walk. It was the first time I left the house since I got home from the hospital some 4 weeks ago. No wonder I was going stir crazy. It was nice to be outside and dressed somewhat nicely. I really enjoyed looking at the houses and their gardens on my street.

Bubby helped me push the pram.

Bubby loved to watched the goings on in the neigbourhood, mainly the gardeners trimming hedges and using leaf blowers.

Red camellias! 

Magnolias are blooming.

Pink camellias.

I love this lawn and the spring blossoms.

I'd like to know how the owners (or their gardener) made these spring blossoms look like this.

I never realised how many of my neighbours hired gardeners. I know next door does because the gardener once mistook my house for theirs and trimmed my hedges!

How cute are these hedge balls?

More Magnolias

Bubby spotted a lizard (see if you can). The kid has sharp eyes.

He also got to climb a tree.

Snow drops from my own garden, or whats left of it thanks to the bush turkeys.

My Magnolia tree with buds that are about to bloom. I can't wait!

What I wore. Lots of pink. It's my happy colour.

Orchid I received when I was in hospital. I hope I can keep it alive.

After our walk I managed to make myself morning tea while Chububby was asleep in the pram. As always he has the worst timing as he woke up just after I took this photo.

It's  good thing we went for a walk when we did because the weather turned foul shortly after we got home.

Today has been the best day I've had since coming home. I need to make this a part of my daily routine. I'm starting to feel normal again.

Choices and Multitasking.

It seems I am faced with a choice with every waking moment. Should I stay in bed and try to catch more sleep or should I get out of bed and spend time with Bubby, shower or eat? Once out of bed I have a choice of whether to eat or have a shower in the limited time I have. On a sunny day I have to choose whether to eat/shower/sleep or tackle the mountain of washing. Of course sometimes I have no choice when I have ran out of clothes. Sometimes both kids need me at the same time so I have to choose who to go to first. That's the hardest part.

This morning I chose to get out of bed early, have a long shower, get out of my pajamas (thanks to my mum who bought me jeans I can wear), blow dry my hair and even put blush and lip gloss on. And boy did it make a difference to my mood more than a fitful catch up nap could.

I'm wearing size 12 jeans. I can't wait to be able to workout and get back into my normal clothes. I don't think there's much I can do with the Dolly Partons. I'm not a fan of them.

I even had time for a quick breakfast and managed to drink my tea while it was still hot (hurray!) and I managed to finish it uninterrupted too.

After breakfast I was faced with another choice, to clean up after Bubby's accident (he is toilet training) or rush to feed a crying Chububby. I left Bubby to my mum and fed Chububby.

Then there are things that I can multitask with. Eating and nursing, eating and doing online grocery shopping (which always takes me a couple of hours because someone always demands my attention and I always forget something because I'm about to run out of time to place my order. I need to master the art of online grocery shopping), eating and watching tv (I think I need to do this more often), eating and spending time with Bubby. I can also nurse and blog. Chububby just managed to spew all over me as I type. He managed to miss his bib completely. Maybe I should wear a bib.

Too bad I can't eat and shower at the same time.

Struggle Street.

I have lost my blogging mojo. I'm just not in the right headspace. Sleep deprivation, Groundhog days, juggling a newborn and a toddler (one who was sick with an ear infection and is also teething), being in pajamas all day (because I have no clothes that fit) will do that to you. I'm not going to lie, I am struggling. I feel like the worst mother. I can't stand the sound of the baby crying, (what mother does?) it sends my stress level through the roof and I get angry and frustrated. I hate the newborn stage and this time around it's worse because I'm also caring for a toddler who while he is really a very good kid is also very challenging. I find it a struggle to give quality time to Bubby when I'm torn between the two. The first week back home hubby did the daycare drop off and pick up but he can't keep leaving work early (he normally leaves work around 7-7.30 pm) so the last couple of weeks Bubby has been home with me with a nanny. While she was helpful not just with taking care of Bubby but also doing a bit of housework I was never comfortable with the idea and I really didn't like her hippy ways. I realised that I am really far too controlling and things have to be done my way (I can't even stand seeing her hang up the clothes on hangers and the hangers aren't all facing the same way. Yes, I am aware I have Issues). None of this airy fairy stuff, kids eat/drink instinctively when and what their body needs. If I was going to have a nanny she'll be a no nonsense Nanny McPhee. Anyway, hubby is back in Brisbane and my mum has taken annual leave is here with me for two weeks, and my dad is also staying but he goes to work during the day. He also brings me home some good stuff:

It took three weeks for someone to bring me sushi. Three weeks.

Duplos keep Bubby entertained quite a bit.

Bubby adores his brother to bits but he can be over-exuberant. Here he is hugging his baby brother. I find it really difficult to nurse the baby when we three are home alone as Bubby is always wanting to hug his brother. He wants to sit next to me but can only sit still for a little while before he either climbs over my back or tries to grab the baby. Drove me to tears the other day when I was trying to feed the baby and wrestle him from Bubby at the same time and the baby spewed what must have been all the milk he had drank. I was absolutely soaked and I totally lost it.

Some people have been asking when they can visit and I'm really not up for visitors. It took me months before I invited people over when I had Bubby. The baby is unsettled in the morning until lunch and I rest in the afternoon when both kids are asleep. That really leaves me with no time to have visitors. I also look terrible and the house is a mess and I will never present myself looking this way to the world. It frustrates me that I have been stuck at home since leaving the hospital. I would really like to be able to get out and buy some decent clothes particularly tops that don't make me look like Dolly Parton.

From now on the baby will be called Chububby. He gained a whopping 540 grams ten days after we left the hospital. Apparently newborns gain between 150 to 250 grams a week. At least I don't have to worry about his weight gain. My arms and back certainly feel it.